I'm sat here watching my 5 yr old play with his Thomas Train set, and I began to wonder what his life will be like when he's an adult living in the uk...
He'll be able to access the internet through broadband anywhere in the UK. Although he won't be allowed to own a PC save energy and all that.
He won't be able to eat in his own house, it will be communal food halls, just to make sure no one eat anything that is bad for them and can cause obseity. Although the powers that be will be able to.
He won't be allowed to have transport of his own, he will have to use communal transport, global warming and all that, although the powers that be will have their own.
He won't be able to grow his own food, that will be done in state run farms, just to make sure they are the right size and shape.
He will only be allowed to wear clothes that are recycable.
He will only be allowed to have lights on at certain times, we need to save power you know.
He will not be able to exercise for longer than half an hour each day, the co2 the body puts out when exercising is bad for the enviroment.
All cows will be kept in one place so the co2 they give out can be harnessed and put to good use.
It will be a society of don't do as I do do as I tell you.....
For those who think this can't happen....don't hold your breath....
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Friday, January 30, 2009
Every home will have.....
Gordon Brown has said that every home, school doctors surgery etc will have broadband by 2012.
Hey what does it matter that thousands are losing their jobs and homes every month, just so long as everyone has got broadband.
I saw on the news that one school in London said they couldn't teach without the internet...All the pupils were sat facing a big screen watching it...bit like using the internet as a babysitter while the teachers did what?????
When I was in school there was no internet, we used books, pen and paper..did research in the library from books. Then again we knew how to read and write before we left school, hey maybe I'm old fashioned but I believe in the three R's.
What happens if you don't want broadband in your house are they going to make you take it? Say you don't have, need or want a computer in your house maybe it will go something like this.....
Knock on door
HH (Householder) Yes can I help you?
BBF(Broadband fitter) Hello I have come to connect you up to broadband.
HH But I don't want broadband.
BBF Sorry, the Government has said every home must have broadband.
HH I don't have a phone let alone a computer.
BBF Don't have a computer??, what do you do with yourself in the cold dark nights.
HH I read books
BBf Books what are they?
HH Eh you what?
BBf Only joking I know what books are, but that is old fashioned and you can read lots more on the internet.
HH No thanks, I like reading books
BBF Sorry but I have to install this
HH I'm not letting you in
BBF That's okay, I'll let myself in when you go out, I'm allowed to do that you know I am also food police.
HH But I'm living in a tent, on a traffic island in the middle of a main road, where are you going to put it.
BBF Tell you what, you apply for planning permission the extend your tent 5 inches and I will put it out here,
HH planning permission to extend my tent..your kidding..
BBF No you are not allowed to extend any dwelling without planning permission. While I'm here I will check out your food stores as well, make sure you have nothing illegal like full cream milk etc.
HH Go away.
BBF Nearly finished installing it, I will be gone soon
HH This is pointless.
BBF This is the Governments way of making sure every home has has the same opportunity.
HH Why not use the money to create some jobs, or lift people out of poverty, give to the NHS or schools.
BBF Just doing my job mate, not my job to tell the Government what to spend tax payers money on.
After the BBf has gone the HH goes down to local travel agents and books a one way ticket to the moon .....only to find when he gets there that Gordon has got there first and is installing broadband ............
Hey what does it matter that thousands are losing their jobs and homes every month, just so long as everyone has got broadband.
I saw on the news that one school in London said they couldn't teach without the internet...All the pupils were sat facing a big screen watching it...bit like using the internet as a babysitter while the teachers did what?????
When I was in school there was no internet, we used books, pen and paper..did research in the library from books. Then again we knew how to read and write before we left school, hey maybe I'm old fashioned but I believe in the three R's.
What happens if you don't want broadband in your house are they going to make you take it? Say you don't have, need or want a computer in your house maybe it will go something like this.....
Knock on door
HH (Householder) Yes can I help you?
BBF(Broadband fitter) Hello I have come to connect you up to broadband.
HH But I don't want broadband.
BBF Sorry, the Government has said every home must have broadband.
HH I don't have a phone let alone a computer.
BBF Don't have a computer??, what do you do with yourself in the cold dark nights.
HH I read books
BBf Books what are they?
HH Eh you what?
BBf Only joking I know what books are, but that is old fashioned and you can read lots more on the internet.
HH No thanks, I like reading books
BBF Sorry but I have to install this
HH I'm not letting you in
BBF That's okay, I'll let myself in when you go out, I'm allowed to do that you know I am also food police.
HH But I'm living in a tent, on a traffic island in the middle of a main road, where are you going to put it.
BBF Tell you what, you apply for planning permission the extend your tent 5 inches and I will put it out here,
HH planning permission to extend my tent..your kidding..
BBF No you are not allowed to extend any dwelling without planning permission. While I'm here I will check out your food stores as well, make sure you have nothing illegal like full cream milk etc.
HH Go away.
BBF Nearly finished installing it, I will be gone soon
HH This is pointless.
BBF This is the Governments way of making sure every home has has the same opportunity.
HH Why not use the money to create some jobs, or lift people out of poverty, give to the NHS or schools.
BBF Just doing my job mate, not my job to tell the Government what to spend tax payers money on.
After the BBf has gone the HH goes down to local travel agents and books a one way ticket to the moon .....only to find when he gets there that Gordon has got there first and is installing broadband ............
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Food Police
I'm sat here watching the news and they are on about banning 15 year olds from drinking..... errrrr silly me I thought the law in the UK was you had to be 18 to drink....then again with the government that we have got you never know where you are with them, they may have lowered the drinking age and just not told anyone....
Seems we are also going to have food police now as well, who will have 24 hour training lol ....can you imagine it....there you are sat in your house and there's a knock at your door...
FP(Food Police)-Hello we have come to inspect the contents of your fridge cupboards and bin.
HH(Householder) Well I really don't want you in my house go away.
FP. We have the power to enter your house and do this without a warrent, without a judge saying we can.
HH. What? Are you saying you can enter my house at anytime you want to see what food I have.
FP. Yes the Government have given us these powers.
HH.To just look and see what I have?
FP. Yes and to tell you about sell by dates and best before dates
HH. Well I already know about them go away.
FP. No we are coming in.
After entering the house and inspecting the fridge and cupboards, the FP sit you down with food that they say is bad for you, that they took out of your fridge etc.
FP. You can't eat this it's chocolate and that can cause obesity, you had two blocks of cheese and too much is bad for you, you mustn't have full cream milk, those yoghurts are not low fat ones. This cream caks says eat on day of purchase so that has to go as well
HH but I was going to eat that later I only bought it today
Fp No sorry it's bad for you
HH This is stupid...
FP We are doing our job, you may keep all the friut and veg that we saw although we are taking these bananas and cucumbers as they are too bent...you must buy straighter ones
Hh Your nuts. I grew those cucumbers myself.
FP Then we will have to inspect those that you are growing, if they are bent like these then they will be confiscated.
Hh shakes head in bewilderment
Fp We also looked in your bin...you cannot throw out any food in that...you have to have a slop bucket under your sink for all food that is not eaten. then it will be collected on the due collection date for non eaten food ...remember to seperate it all though, meat in one veg all in seperate buckets for each item , non cooked in another one all seperated of course.
HH You have got to be kidding me....how often will all that be collected?
Fp Once a month.
HH My house will stink...I'm not doing that.
Fp We have the power to fine you £1000 pounds per item in your bin if you don't, and £1000 per item that has not been seperated properly.
HH Get out of my house, leave all my food behind as well, your nuts all of you.
FP no we can't do that, we are also issuing a fine because you have insulted the humble nuts that grow on trees , that's racism against nuts.
HH Get out.
After closing the door on the FP the Householder logs on to the net, and makes plans to escape from the nanny state that is now the UK....
Seems we are also going to have food police now as well, who will have 24 hour training lol ....can you imagine it....there you are sat in your house and there's a knock at your door...
FP(Food Police)-Hello we have come to inspect the contents of your fridge cupboards and bin.
HH(Householder) Well I really don't want you in my house go away.
FP. We have the power to enter your house and do this without a warrent, without a judge saying we can.
HH. What? Are you saying you can enter my house at anytime you want to see what food I have.
FP. Yes the Government have given us these powers.
HH.To just look and see what I have?
FP. Yes and to tell you about sell by dates and best before dates
HH. Well I already know about them go away.
FP. No we are coming in.
After entering the house and inspecting the fridge and cupboards, the FP sit you down with food that they say is bad for you, that they took out of your fridge etc.
FP. You can't eat this it's chocolate and that can cause obesity, you had two blocks of cheese and too much is bad for you, you mustn't have full cream milk, those yoghurts are not low fat ones. This cream caks says eat on day of purchase so that has to go as well
HH but I was going to eat that later I only bought it today
Fp No sorry it's bad for you
HH This is stupid...
FP We are doing our job, you may keep all the friut and veg that we saw although we are taking these bananas and cucumbers as they are too bent...you must buy straighter ones
Hh Your nuts. I grew those cucumbers myself.
FP Then we will have to inspect those that you are growing, if they are bent like these then they will be confiscated.
Hh shakes head in bewilderment
Fp We also looked in your bin...you cannot throw out any food in that...you have to have a slop bucket under your sink for all food that is not eaten. then it will be collected on the due collection date for non eaten food ...remember to seperate it all though, meat in one veg all in seperate buckets for each item , non cooked in another one all seperated of course.
HH You have got to be kidding me....how often will all that be collected?
Fp Once a month.
HH My house will stink...I'm not doing that.
Fp We have the power to fine you £1000 pounds per item in your bin if you don't, and £1000 per item that has not been seperated properly.
HH Get out of my house, leave all my food behind as well, your nuts all of you.
FP no we can't do that, we are also issuing a fine because you have insulted the humble nuts that grow on trees , that's racism against nuts.
HH Get out.
After closing the door on the FP the Householder logs on to the net, and makes plans to escape from the nanny state that is now the UK....
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Men and Hypocondria
OH is still groaning every time he takes a step. I have taken him to A&E (ER), because he couldn't get in to see the Doc... then he went and saw local GP (doc) they both said the same thing it's his back muscles...does he believe them....of course not...I mean they only spent years training to be a Doctor, but he knows better.... Doesn't stop him from going down to the local pub though....
He now wants blood tests done now as he thinks it's something more serious...grief everytime the little one is ill (even if it's just a cold he wants me to get blood tests done on him), then he wonders why I roll my eyes at this suggestion....are men just natural hypocondriacs or do they have to work at this????
At least he has gone back to work now, so I am getting peace for at least 10 hours a day, but then the weekends come along and spoil it.......
He now wants blood tests done now as he thinks it's something more serious...grief everytime the little one is ill (even if it's just a cold he wants me to get blood tests done on him), then he wonders why I roll my eyes at this suggestion....are men just natural hypocondriacs or do they have to work at this????
At least he has gone back to work now, so I am getting peace for at least 10 hours a day, but then the weekends come along and spoil it.......
Monday, January 19, 2009
What is it with men and pain.....
A sniffle and it's flu, a pain and it's something serious. OH has a bad back and every time he takes a step a groan comes out of him.....why can't you just suffer in silence????
I haven't been able to hoover the past 4 days because he has the sniffles (which he says is flu), and it gives him a headache. Hey I have the sniffles as well and a bad back but guess what.... things still need doing and I do them..... I can't laze around all day, I have a house to run and children to get back and for to school...
But at least he can manage to control the remote to the TV... I keep telling him go to bed leave me alone...does he nooooooooo of course he doesn't....and why doesn't he? I'm sure because he thinks if he stays up groaning and moaning I will give him sympathy, sorry I ran out of that on day 1...
I bet he does today though because I am going to hoover today (I think it has had a long enough holiday) and move furniture around, he really won't want to help me will he??? God I hope he doesn't.........Maybe I can just book myself into a B&B for a few days till he's better..................
A sniffle and it's flu, a pain and it's something serious. OH has a bad back and every time he takes a step a groan comes out of him.....why can't you just suffer in silence????
I haven't been able to hoover the past 4 days because he has the sniffles (which he says is flu), and it gives him a headache. Hey I have the sniffles as well and a bad back but guess what.... things still need doing and I do them..... I can't laze around all day, I have a house to run and children to get back and for to school...
But at least he can manage to control the remote to the TV... I keep telling him go to bed leave me alone...does he nooooooooo of course he doesn't....and why doesn't he? I'm sure because he thinks if he stays up groaning and moaning I will give him sympathy, sorry I ran out of that on day 1...
I bet he does today though because I am going to hoover today (I think it has had a long enough holiday) and move furniture around, he really won't want to help me will he??? God I hope he doesn't.........Maybe I can just book myself into a B&B for a few days till he's better..................
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
MAN FLU
Man flu.......
What is it???? Is it a heavy cold, a light cold or just the sniffles....
Why when a man sneezes does he have flu and have to go to bed for three days, want to be waited on hand and foot, yet when a woman does it's only a cold and why are you making such a fuss....
Men get to go to bed, women carry on. Can you imagine if women went to bed for three days...the ensuing chaos that would cause, and it wouldn't just be in the house.
In school the children would be saying, "Sorry I haven't done my homework but I couldn't find it, no I don't have my PE kit couldn't find it, sorry that I'm not in school uniform it ws dirty I don't know where my clean ones are and dad can't use the washing machine,."
There would be no dirty dishes in the house as they would be having pizzas and Mcdonalds, so no dishes to wash..
The men would be in work saying, " I don't know why she says looking after the house, me and the kids is hard it's a doddle" as he is stood there in shorts tshirt and sandals when it's below freezing all because he couldn't find any clean shirts or socks. The hoover (vacum) would think it was on holiday because he won't know how to turn it on, that's if he can even find it..
Now I know not all men are useless around the house, they can use the tv remote easily to channel hop, they can keep the children quiet by letting them run free to they can find themselves. Yes they have painted on the walls and floors but hey that shows they are budding artists.....
What is it???? Is it a heavy cold, a light cold or just the sniffles....
Why when a man sneezes does he have flu and have to go to bed for three days, want to be waited on hand and foot, yet when a woman does it's only a cold and why are you making such a fuss....
Men get to go to bed, women carry on. Can you imagine if women went to bed for three days...the ensuing chaos that would cause, and it wouldn't just be in the house.
In school the children would be saying, "Sorry I haven't done my homework but I couldn't find it, no I don't have my PE kit couldn't find it, sorry that I'm not in school uniform it ws dirty I don't know where my clean ones are and dad can't use the washing machine,."
There would be no dirty dishes in the house as they would be having pizzas and Mcdonalds, so no dishes to wash..
The men would be in work saying, " I don't know why she says looking after the house, me and the kids is hard it's a doddle" as he is stood there in shorts tshirt and sandals when it's below freezing all because he couldn't find any clean shirts or socks. The hoover (vacum) would think it was on holiday because he won't know how to turn it on, that's if he can even find it..
Now I know not all men are useless around the house, they can use the tv remote easily to channel hop, they can keep the children quiet by letting them run free to they can find themselves. Yes they have painted on the walls and floors but hey that shows they are budding artists.....
Thursday, January 01, 2009
2009
Well it has started off crap...wonder if it will get better or is this the way the year is going...day 1 ...CRAP...
Happy New year all hope yours is going better than mine.
Happy New year all hope yours is going better than mine.
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